Too often I find myself saying, ‘I don’t have time.’
This expression has become a part of my internal dialogue that allows me to neglect my well-being.
My Facebook experience earlier in the week caused me to reassess my idea of friendship. It is obvious that friendships require commitment and time spent together. I know this and yet I expect my friendships to cultivate themselves in my absence, stupid or lazy I can’t decide. So I need to act upon my vague promises to catch up with people and return their calls. I need to make time to be a better friend and recognise what is important in my life.
Change started with saying yes to the invitations that came my way.
I was able to catch up with some beautiful women I had not spent time with in three years, despite them living only 20 minutes away! We had endless cups of tea, and before I knew it a quick chat turned into three hours;
- we gossiped,
- solved the world’s parenting dilemmas,
- outlined the attributes of a great husband and marriage,
- commiserated over the crap that happens,
- and laughed, mostly at ourselves.
I finally made good on vague promises to see a dear friend. We hogged a corner of the coffee shop bought one cup of tea each and became the very definition of appalling customers! We summarised our past, present and future;
- Our jobs are hard but funny, very funny, resulting in much laughter from our corner,
- Sometimes we aren’t good enough at many things and that is OK,
- Additional academic qualifications are something we aspire to,
- We daydreamed about working together,
- Sometimes people behave badly and you need to walk away, and not keep throwing yourself under a moving bus,
- We went to the bookshop and grieved over the shrinking classics section, pointed out good and bad books to each other,
- Importantly, we decided that the cost of her haircut was worth it as she looks awesome, seriously she should be a hair model.
I almost missed the last one as I slept in, forgot about it, got sidetracked and double booked with my long-suffering husband (that is a whole post alone). Luckily, my friend knows me well and rang to confirm. Have I mentioned my friends are patient? I was fortunate enough to spend some quiet and considered time with my friend and her 2-year-old daughter, (H);
- H and I read a book together and compared the characters to her own life,
- H and I talked about shoes, her Mum views shoes as an evil necessity,
- Friend and I spoke about how thankful we are for our husbands,
- We all looked at hair clips, necklaces and bangles, a rare treat since I live in a house of males,
- My friend and I discussed her plans for the future and I marveled at her determination,
- I saw my friend being a patient and consistent parent while honouring her child.
These points make a mockery of my excuses. This is only the short list and reading through them makes me question why I don’t prioritise something that renews my spirit in such a positive way.
I am very good at making vague promises and procrastinating, so here in writing;
- I commit to returning calls within a couple of days ( I will need to charge and leave my phone on) and,
- I will actively organise regular dates to catch up with friends (and put them in my phone with an alarm).
What do you need to find time for?
“My friends are my estate.”
– Emily Dickinson
* I am in the process of streamlining my Facebook so that it contains only friends, controversial?
- The Importance of Friendships (everydayhealth.com)